lI've taken the time to go through Craig's List and comment on some of the ads on there. As you know, Craig's List is a free site where you can post goods, services, real estate, dating ads and jobs. People are idiots and I intend to keep showing you that. Lots of dirty people run around on here so I've labeled the ads that are clearly related to sinners in the pornographic business.
"Part Time" Jobs on Craig's List
Test Proctor - Falls Church VA (Leesburg Pike, Falls Church, VA) – I don't know what a "proctor" is, but it's way too close to "proctology" to go applying for it without knowing how much it pays.
Females needed for Kamasutra sexual health assesment program (DC) - Yeah… right. You show up and it's three fat guys, a bunch of beer a clipboard with no paper and a video camera. Why didn't I think of this?
GREAT HIGH PAYING PART-TIME POSITION ( Northern Virginia) – A word to the wise; "PART TIME" always negates "HIGH PAYING" just in case you didn't know.
Real Estate Marketing associate (DC-MD) – Don't be fooled, it's hammering "for sale" signs into the ground. You'll be and associate all right, you'll be associating a sledge hammer with wood in front of the Henderson's house.
Stedicam operator w/ Own Equipment - Porn
CASTING CALL FOR INDEPENDANT STUDENT FILM - Also porn
Illustrator needed (Arlington, VA) – Porn again
Do You Want to Work With Some Real Party Animals? - Obviously Porn
Paralegal Student or Retired Lawyer (part time) - That's kind of like saying you need a Doctor or a kid in 5 th grade remedial science to perform surgery.
Bookstore Assistant (Dupont Circle) - Porn
Housing for Rent
$1950 / 4br - Detached, 4 BR, 2.5 bath brick home with super yard (Fairfax) - The yard fights crime while you are away at work and returns to a nice grassy play area for the kids when you get home.
$2299 / 4br - Brand NEW Gorgeous in the HEART of FAIRFAX!!!! (Fairfax) – Capital letters are used here to emphasize "CLOSE TO NOTHING!"
$2275 / 3br - Beautiful House - Close To Everything! - Close to everything huh? The Eiffel tower is where in relation to "everything" and your beautiful house? I better see elephants and chinamen when I get there.
$1250 - Wonderful BARN FOR RENT -- 4-5 Stalls -- Great Falls, VA - I'm offended… clearly I have not been the best at keeping my room clean, but I surely do not live in a barn – MOM. Not many horses use the computer due to the fact that hoofs and keyboards do not make a good couple.
4br - ۩Free rooms/sleeping spaces for AuPairs, Interns, Exchange Students !! - Porn
Things For Sale
Large Outside Play Cube - $55 - Let me get this straight… You want to sell me a fucking square for $55 bucks? What are circles going for?
Toddler Clothes for CHEAP - There's a bad day at daycare just waiting to happen. Wait until the other kids find out your clothes aren't even Wal-Mart, they're Craig's List… shit in by some other toddler who ate his way out of them.
Handblown Glass Necklace - Beautiful Blue Beaded Baubles - $30 – All the words starting with "B" at the end is over the top chachi – I'm here to shop not memorize poetry. Question – how did you get your hand to blow?
Gifts, golf, gadgets - Ch Ch Yard Sale this Sat 10/29 9 am - 1 pm - Tell me you didn't just type a stutter… (Ch Ch) seriously. Will there be anything that doesn't start with a "G."
EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!!! - If you sell "everything", is that guy's house next to it going too? You're going to be fucking rich my friend.