Refuse the Juice

Who's the Real Tax Hawk?

I read in today's El Paso Times an editorial lauding a summit held to discuss the consolidation of services and facilities between the city and county - what a great idea.  Not a new idea, but a great one.

If you've ever done any work with the city and county, you know they have very similar departments doing very similar things.  You pay for those redundant services with your tax dollars.  The wonderful truth is that there is a lot of money to be saved in consolidation and I'm glad someone is continue to talk about it.

Some of the efforts to consolidate are as easy to execute as an interlocal agreement.  Other things will take some legislative action in Austin.  If our delegation can get together on this issue of city/county consolidation, they'd have friends in other city/counties that have our unique situation - a city that is almost the entire county.  To get relief to the taxpayers in the ultimate fashion, we'd need the Texas legislature to change some rules.  It can be done. 

So who's idea was it to have a summit to discuss saving taxpayer's money?  Was it the only Republican on the commissioner court, Dan Haggerty?  Was it self proclaimed tax buster Judge Cobos?  NOPE.  It was democrat and shapleigh camper Veronica Escobar (of all people).  I'm as shocked as you are... I know.

How come Haggerty didn't come up with this idea?  Probably because he's a republican, not a conservative.  This single idea is the one that would prove someone is really serious about saving taxpayers money. 

No wonder our Republican party in town is so weak - the only locally elected republican is having his conservative values stomped on by a liberal democrat!  Of course, Haggerty also thinks Judge Cobos (a democrat) is a great county judge and isn't afraid to tell the newspaper that.  Something strikes me odd about a republican endorsing a democrat who is accused of fraud. 

Let's hope there are some real moves toward consolidation in our future. We could use the money!

Tiger Woods - Family Man, Role Model and a Pro in the Sack

I'm actually kidding about most of that title. It's up to you to figure out which part.

I didn't want to talk about this at all, but it has hit a state of frenzy beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  I try to be fair with my personal position that I don't take positions on other people's sexual positions... er preferences.  Of course, if someone's sexual preference is children - I'll comment about it.  Almost everything else is none of my business.

Tiger is now being dropped by Gatorade and I'm sure a whole host of American-centric companies will dump him as well.  We'll get to why the foreigners and companies with foreign markets will not only keep him, but pay him more.  The real issue is deciphering between interest and outrage.  Gatorade is assuming there's a lot of outrage out there and have acted accordingly.  I disagree with them. 

I think there is a tremendous amount of interest in Tiger Wood's seemingly human behavior.  Are we really that outraged by adultery these days?  No.  However, we are immensely interested in it.  Just check the subtopics of all the major network TV shows and you'll see that the subject of adultery is everywhere.  We're interested in the subject to begin with and once you mix in an iconic sports figure with a nearly spotless image, we're captive. 

We know what he did. We know why he did it.  We know how he did it.  We know with whom he did it.  We have an idea of where he did it as well.  There's no mystery left in the story; yet it gets bigger every day.  People are interested in infidelity!

What people say out loud about their interest in the story may be a lot different from what they are actually thinking.  Obviously, you won't have guys running around saying, "Look at that gaggle of hot women this guy bedded!  What it would be to be Tiger Woods!"  And some women are probably secretly thinking, "What would it be like to be the other woman of the richest sports star on the planet?  What would it be like to be the one girl besides his wife that he wanted?"  I think there's a lot of those thoughts running around behind that wall of righteous indignation you put up shortly after hearing the story.

Again, the tone around the nation is one of interest, not anger.  You really can't say that you lost anything personally after finding out the ugly truth.  For some of you, it may even be the sexy truth and it will serve as validation for something that you may be doing behind your spouse's back.  

It's very clear that nobody is calling for Tiger's head.  Nobody has said they're going to stop watching golf, driving Buicks and forgo Nike clothing (let's be honest, nobody liked Buicks before this scandal broke).  You surely don't look at a bottle of Gatorade and feel anger and disgust (that part comese when you taste it).  What's the real temperature here?

The real loser in this will be the other PGA tour players.  There's an old saying that I just made up - "If a golf tournament is played and Tiger wasn't there, how would anyone know a golf tournament actually took place?"  You can quote me on that.

Moving past my terrible attempt at the adaptation of the "tree in the forest" proverb/trivia question/annoying phrase used by people you wish would die...   Let's examine what happens to the guys on tour.  We all know that when he was injured a while back that TV ratings dipped, purse totals dropped and the overall interest in the sport waned.  It's a measurable fact.  Those in the industry talked about it endlessly while it was happening.

If Tiger stops playing to hide from this scandal (I don't know why it's a "scandal," there's no mystery left in the story - It's an "ordeal" now), the PGA has another huge problem.  The guy made an unwatchable sport - watchable.  Our first interest in him was his God-like prowess with a golf club.  Before he was a famous adulterer, he was our golf hero.  Has what he done changed that at all?  Does it change the fact that you want to see Tiger play on Sunday at the Masters when he's two shots down with three holes to go?  It doesn't.  The only thing that changes now is that instead of knowing that Tiger is sleeping with one chick hotter than you can ever imagine, you now know he's sleeping with nine of them. 

If he does go underground after this ordeal and never plays again he will do more damage to you and others than his philandering ever did.  We'll be left to watch Phil Mickelson choke away victory at majors over and over again while John Daly does his best to ruin what's left of Arkansas' reputation.  That doesn't sound like a good trade for me.  I'd be perfectly happy forgetting about his little urge control problem in exchange for another 20 years of watching this guy do what he does best - play golf ("golfing" is not a word unless you want to call what Brett Favre does "footballing").  He may do something better than play golf, however, I don't think that activity is something appropriate for Sunday afternoon television.  Besides, who wants two white dudes whispering in the background when you're trying to make beautiful love to a D-list reality personality while your supermodel wife is at home raising your children?  Not me. 

If you think all of his sponsors will leave him - you're wrong.  Tiger's biggest fan base isn't even in the United States.  He's world wide.  In most of the countries overseas where he's more popular than even David Hasselhoff (he's pretty popular), his taking of mistresses is not only something that's not a big deal, it's encouraged.  It shows you're a man!  If anything he's improved his image with his foreign fans.  I'm willing to bet that the five Japanese guys who weren't Tiger fans a week ago are now decked out head to toe in Tiger endorsed products today.  In many cultures adultery is the mark of a successful man. Just ask Bill Clinton (you knew it was coming). 

He may take further damage here in the States in the way of loss endorsement deals, but that won't last long if he plays golf again soon and wins.  His libido and our fascination with it will never go away, however, it will become less of a fixation as time goes on.  He's a man who literally has tens of thousands of women who want to sleep with him - what do you expect?  Your deadbeat husband/brother/cousin/guy you work with can't say no to the one girl in the entire world who wants to sleep with him, so give Tiger a break.  The fact that his mistress bus only had nine riders is amazing considering it could hold about 9,000. 

Do I feel bad for his wife?  No, it's not my job.  Maybe I'd consider feeling bad for her if she would consider feeling bad for me.  I know that sounds insensitive, but I'm pretty sure that Mrs. Woods has a lot more important things to worry about than David K's sympathetic pain.  I'm sure she'll be fine.

Let's just hope we haven't lost our future interest in Golf for good. 

The Truth Always Comes Out and Hiking Tips

A few months ago the El Paso Times did a terrible piece on the subject of health insurance.  They gathered a few different El Pasoans without insurance and tweaked their story in a way that would have you believe that they were being screwed by "the man." 

I wrote about the piece and had specific thoughts for one person they profiled - Ms. Miramontes of Access Remodeling.  Her heartbreaking story of how health insurance was just too costly to provide for her employees didn't ring well with those of us who know the truth.  I pointed out that they had millions in government contracts and lots of personal wealth - providing health insurance for employees was easily within reach for her. 

In El Paso Inc.'s "whispers" column this weekend my accusations were confirmed.  It seems as if Ms. Miramontes and Access Remodeling have enough cash in a down economy to move their headquarters to an 18,000 square foot building while opening new offices in New Orleans and New Mexico.  However, it's unclear if this model employer provides health insurance for her employees yet.

This lady has been the darling of both the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and the Greater El Paso Chamber of Commerce.  I have to question the integrity of both of those entities when it's revealed that their championed local business doesn't even provide health insurance for their employees.  A good relationship between the employer and employees is tantamount to any other factor when rating a business.  

Here again in this town we champion someone without doing all the homework first.  Soon we'll be let down again by yet another false idol.

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I'm glad Bob Sumrall was found. I hope he pulls through.  If they find the dog too it will be a big happy ending to a story that should have never happened.

I know Bob Sumrall.  Years ago he hunted frequently with my dad and I.  Bob is an interesting character, but a little much to handle in large doses.  What I know about Bob should really be told here.

I know the local media wants to make this out to be the greatest story of survival every told and that Bob is a survivor of an ordeal that was completely out of his control.  The truth is nowhere near that.

This wasn't the first time Bob had to be rescued. A few years back he had to be rescued right here in El Paso on the mountain just behind his house.  Anybody who knows Bob, knows this is a pattern. He gets himself into trouble by making stupid decisions.  He's a stubborn guy who does things his way and his way only.  Unfortunately that gets him into trouble sometimes.

A day hike in the Gila after August requires a few basic things:

1.  A partner - never hike alone.  You have no idea what can happen to you while out there and having another human there to help will increase your odds off living tremendously.  I've been hunting, fishing and hiking my entire life and have learned the hard way that being alone puts you at a huge disadvantage against Mother Nature.  The dog does not count as a partner.  If you don't believe me, please read "To Build a Fire" by Jack London (story HERE).  The dog is instinctual - you are not.
 

2. Preparation - you can never be over-prepared.  Anytime after August in the Gila you have a chance at severe weather changes that involve tremendous drops in temperature.  Getting caught in the rain in July is one thing; getting caught in a snowstorm in September is another thing and not unheard of for that part of the country.  One must always be prepared to for the situation where a day hike turns into an overnighter.  Layers of clothes and a backpack with emergency supplies is a must for event he most mundane hikes in remote places like the Gila.  Since his hike took place in November, it's beyond me why he wasn't prepared for the circumstances.

3. Leave details behind as to where you are going and when you expect to be back.  Some people will leave these in their car or with a family member.  Once you leave the detailed itinerary behind, do not deviate.  Bob may have left an idea of where he was going, but eventually deviated from those plans either on purpose or out of confusion brought on by whatever held him up.  I suggest letting park rangers know where you're going to be and for how long in the Gila.  You'll be amazed at how much easier it is for them to keep track of people when they've had contact with them in the park just before they embark on their journey.  A park ranger could have warned Bob about the weather to come and encouraged him to make different plans.  At the least, the ranger would have known his car was supposed to be gone by nightfall and they would have started the search that day.

When I heard Bob was lost, I wasn't surprised.  Neither were many other people who know him.  He had been journeying out like this for years and it finally caught up to him... again.

I can't believe the guy was in a cabin at one point and left.  Once you find a place of shelter when you are lost - STAY THERE!  Bob should have known this.  Leaving that cabin almost cost him his life. 

I hope the media will do the right thing and close this story by educating people on the need to be careful when enjoying the outdoors.  They must let people know that accidents don't happen randomly.  Accidents that take place outdoors are most often set into action before you even leave your house.  The things you do before you get to the trail will almost always be the things that decide whether or not you leave the wilderness dead or alive.

Odds and Ends for a Friday

Is there a happy way to deliver bad news?  I'm learning that there is in fact a way to turn something awful into a positive - it's all about the package you deliver it in.

Read this Yahoo report on the November job losses - Yahoo Job Loss Article.

If that isn't the worst kind of dancing around I've ever seen in publication, I don't know what is. 

That's like telling a mother she's going to save a lot of money by not having to pay for her son's college tuition because he's dead.  Yeah, it doesn't really roll of the tongue as well when you change the severity of the news.  Of course, those without jobs in this country might find their predicament to be as serious as the one I used as my example.

My wife happens to be one of those people out of the job and I can tell you that it's not a happy thing for her.  We're financially stressed to the max and we don't take the news as Yahoo would like us to. We think negative job flow numbers suck. 

However, if she was related to Congressman Reyes... Six figure jobs would be falling out of the sky like rain.  How many of his family members are having a hard time in these hard times? 

And don't think I'm just picking on Yahoo, all the other news sites regurgitated Obama's talking points.

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I have a conspiracy theory!

This Tigua Alvidrez guy who's not running for the senate was working with Norma Chavez to give her an easy reason to save face and not run for the senate seat.

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I'm hearing more and more discontent from people who have to work with the upper levels of EPISD management.  They say that the district is very stubborn when it comes to certain issues and they are tired of it.

Big taxer in big trouble?

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Needy kids need food, clothes and education items.  Toys are a luxury.  All of these toy drives irk me.  Nothing says "Christmas" like a naked, cold, hungry kid playing with a $50 remote control truck. 

And we wonder why kids grow up to be materiliastic and make bad choices like buying a brand new cell phone every month instead of buying health insurance.  When they were young and needed CARE, they got TOYS. 

On the same note... Coat drives should be held in the spring and summer.  Collecting coats after it's already cold is not efficient.  Fans for the summer should be collected in winter and spring before it gets hot. 

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that's all I have

Word to the Wise

I'm not understanding why candidates feel it's necessary to make appearances on local talk radio,   Especially KHRO 1150.

THERE'S NOTHING TO GAIN BY BEING ON THE RADIO!

Nobody listens to the local talk station - NOBODY.  The same 15 morons call the same four shows every day so they can hear themselves blab.  The ratings are crap because the audience is nonexistent. 

Each host has their own personal agenda that they set out each day to promote.  They are playing to their buddies and that's about it.

As a candidate your time is better spent waving a sign on the corner of a busy intersection than it is sitting there while Strelzin interviews himself.  You have zero to gain by appealing to an audience that is not only tiny, but not interested in learning about any new candidates.  The 15 people who listen to that station have already made up their mind about who they will support. 

No candidate has ever won a campaign because of their time on that station.  Especially republicans.  Ask Pat Haggerty what being on Strelzin's show 15 times does for you - LOSE PRIMARY. 

No candidate has ever gone on one of those shows and said "I'm glad I did that, it was good for my reputation!" Norma Chavez and Larry Medina own every host on that station and they come off as morons when they are on the air. 

Candidates need to find better things to do than have the nobodies on KHRO ruin their reputations. 

If advertisers don't think their audience is worth a shit, why should you?

Maximize your efforts and minimize your exposure to bad situations.

Estimating Problems and Sharing the Burden

I've been sitting back and listening to democrats in this town lay out their strategies for the upcoming election. They've made it easy to see what they are doing given that they have made all these plans out in the public.  They are very careful to make sure that everything they do is properly leaked to the media types here in town and reported widely.  It's an odd way of intimidating opponents and advertising their receptiveness to new support coalitions.

The one theme I see all the time from the local democrat followers is the insistence that all Republicans are DOA in local elections.  That's an interesting attitude to have considering the turn out of the Tea Parties and the health care town halls. 

A conservative grassroots effort has formed in less than year and rivals anything I have seen turnout wise from the liberals in town.  They've raised money, put together seminars and have plans for more events in the coming months.  Never in the history of El Paso have conservatives gathered in these numbers. 

With an unpopular President, a bad economy and the stage set for 1994 all over again, it pains me to see the democrats not learning from history. 
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The El Paso Times had an editorial today lauding the city for selling some bonds to for storm water projects.  I think it was a good idea too. However....

We have to pay that money back at a price.  It would be nice to have a few thousand more houses on the tax rolls to help us pay that debt off.  Too bad the anti-growth/business council has put a stop to all new development with the draconian impact fees they passed earlier this year. 

Instead of spreading the tax burden to new homeowners whose houses will be properly assessed by the CAD, the rest of are going to be paying through the nose (alone) because our properties have to be over-valued to pay for our aging infrastructure.  While you bitch about paying for new growth, you forget that new growth instantly starts paying for the maintenance of existing infrastructure. 

Never mind, don't listen to me.  All I'm trying to do is save  you some money.

Party Crashers in DC - Not a New Story

I've been watching the story on the couple who allegedly crashed a party at the White House.  People never cease to amaze me, but they aren't the first to pull this trick.

The funny thing is that I have actually casually met them through a charity polo event my roommate was once involved in.  Needless to say, that event ran for a couple of years and was mired in all kinds of legal trouble when one of the executive directors allegedly raided the bank account and put the money in his campaign fund for a New York state house seat.  The ensuing fight over control of the charity was played out on the society pages of the Washington Post. 

It seems to me that their mission was to prove to Bravo producers that they would make the perfect couple for the popular show "The Real Housewives..."  The show follows rich women and their husbands around while they make asses out of themselves.  It looks like this couple would be perfect!

It's interesting that the show would want to do a DC edition.  I think it would be very hard for them to have cameras following these people into these events given that it's a big taboo to do so and has been for quite some time.  No politician or appointed big wig is going to want cameras hovering around their social events.  The unwritten code in DC is that you keep what you see at events to yourself and that part of the deal with your access, is your silence. 

It will be interesting to see how the show does given how DC's unwritten rules work.

By no means is this a new thing.  Having had a White House Aide-de-camp (Air Force) as a roommate, I heard lots of stories of people trying to weasel their way into the Bush White House.  The idea being that access was a road to some kind of future success in business, lobbying or otherwise.  President Bush had lots of "friends" who were "mistakenly left off of the list."

I think the Obama camp is handling this well by distancing themselves from a couple of loony toons looking to make a buck.  The sad part is that it's taking attention away from the many important issues facing the White House right now.

Reprint: Open Letter to Sipes and Leeds

I think Leeds pressured NPT into taking my letter down.  I want it to live on... so here it is.

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November 12, 2009

 

Via E-Mail: karlsruher@gmail.com and Certified Mail

Mr. David Karlsruher

Refuse the Juice

1224 Belvedere

El Paso, Tx. 79912

 

Re:    Refuse the Juice

“Hurry! The Campaign Season is Coming”

 

Dear Sir:

 

Please be advised that I have been retained to represent Mr. Stuart Leeds in connection with the above posting dated November 11, 2009.

 

The allegations made against Mr. Leeds are not based in fact and are absolutely false.   The assertions that his intentions are to conduct a witch hunt, that he is not patriotic, and that he will participate in corruption are the basis of a suit for defamation.

 

The purpose of this letter is to demand the removal of such posting from your blog and any links to other websites upon receipt of this correspondence. 

 

Sincerely,

 

/s/

DORIS SIPES

 

 

cc:     Mr. Stuart Leeds

 

 

 

 

 

Open Letter Repsonse to Doris Sipes and Stuart Leeds

 

From David Karlsruher, Public Enemy #2

 

Dear Ms. Sipes and Mr. Leeds,

I can’t tell you how thrilled I initially was when I received your letter attached to an email addressed to me.  I thought for sure you were sending me a “save the date” for your yearly Christmas party.  I don’t have to tell you that lawyers throw the absolute best Christmas parties and it’s always an honor to be invited to them.

 

Sadly, I was disappointed to find that your letter was not a cheerful invitation for a celebration of Christ’s birthday.  I, at first, had a lot of trouble opening the attachment because the file was a Word Perfect document.  I stopped using Word Perfect at about the same time Tom Landry stopped coaching the Cowboys.  However, I did contact the Smithsonian and they are interested in obtaining the copy of your Word Perfect program for their “Ancient Technologies” exhibit debuting in the Spring of 2010.

 

Once I was able to locate a Comodore 64 to open your attachment, I was shocked to find out that you were upset with something I wrote on my blog. I felt bad for an entire minute before I realized that my life was not over, I wouldn’t be going to jail and no judge worth their robe would spend more than a minute entertaining a lawsuit based on your complaints in your letter.  That means we will probably not be arguing this one inside the hallowed walls of the U.S. Supreme Court.  However, I do have a call in to the producers of “Judge Judy.”  Keep your fingers crossed we get picked for the show because they pick up hotel and airfare for you and a guest.  My wife and I are in dire need of a vacation!

 

I’m very confused as to why an important public figure like Mr. Leeds, who is heading up the very controversial El Paso County Ethics Commission, would be bumming around the internet reading blogs.  I’m also curious as to what Ms. Sipes’ clients are going to think of her once they realize she spends her time harassing local bloggers via letters written in Word Perfect.   Don’t both of you have something better to do? 

 

The gist of your complaint was outlined in your letter:

 

“The allegations made against Mr. Leeds are not based in fact and are absolutely false.   The assertions that his intentions are to conduct a witch hunt, that he is not patriotic, and that he will participate in corruption are the basis of a suit for defamation.”

  

I was merely having a little fun with the witch hunt theme.  However, if I have hit a nerve or exposed your future plans prematurely, I apologize.  If you are in fact going to have witch hunts and witch trials, I would like to humbly suggest Ascarate park for the location of the festivities.  The park offers a lake for the “does she, or does she not float” trials and there’s plenty of room to safely burn people at the stake.  Having this event at the park could go a long way in sealing that interlocal park deal we’ve been talking about for a while now.  Might I also put a word in for Alejandro Lozano for Master of Ceremonies, he really loves that park and I know you guys have been big supporters of his in the past.

 

I have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the corruption and patriotism claims.  For a blog post you are so upset about, you sure didn’t read it very well.  Who am I kidding?  You’re not really interested in the facts, you just want me to shut up.   Too bad for you, I’m very bad with authority.  

 

I’m sure you guys write a lot of letters to citizens threatening them with lawsuits.  Most people are ignorant of the law and have been taught to fear lawyers.  Even in situations like this one, where you are dead wrong, most people acquiesce and give in to your demands.  The average citizen would rather get a root canal without anesthetic than deal with a lawyer.  It’s lawyers like you who make disliking practitioners of your trade so popular and easy. 

 

Unfortunately for you, I’m not intimidated that easily.  I’m going to keep my blog post up.  I will not erase it.  I’m going to do this because I think you’re full of shit (sorry mom) and I’ve got nothing better to do than turn what was a blog post that was viewed by a few hundred people into the most viewed blog post in the history of blog posts.  After the publication of your letter and my response to that letter (what you’re reading now), everyone in the entire county will have read the very thing you wished that no one would have read.  In soccer I think they call your move an “own goal.”

 

My advice to Mr. Leeds is to grow a thicker skin if he’s going to accept positions that put him in the public spotlight.  Picking a fight with someone who has nothing to lose and nothing for him to gain is a huge mistake.  Right now you are probably realizing that and you can go one of two ways:

 

1. Leave me alone and move on with your life.
2. Make my year by suing me.

 

Because it is in your nature to fight, I’m assuming you’ll pick option two.  I’m prepared for that situation.  I will tell you that unfortunately my wife lost her job way back in April and things have gotten pretty tight around the Karlsruher residence since.  You see, nobody pays me $200 an hour to bother people via letters written in Word Perfect.  So, on the off chance you actually do win your suit against me, we can only offer you an unopened set of CorningWare that we got as a wedding present (please do newly weds a favor and shop where they are registered and always include a receipt) and the Eagles Farewell 1 Tour – Live from Melbourne DVD as payment.  We’ve had to pawn everything else of value in our house (thank you Mr. Obama for that).

 

I’ve also prepared a legal defense fund for myself.  It’s called “Save Dave” (I’m “Dave”).  I plan on following in the footsteps of my personal hero, President Bill Clinton, by making speeches to paying audiences all across the county to earn money for the “Save Dave” legal fund.   I expect to raise tens of dollars for my defense. 

 

I have not retained a lawyer as of yet, but I will use this open letter to invite Carl Starr to be the first to join my legal defense team.  What do you say, Carl?

 

It’s a shame that it has to come to this.  But I’m prepared to become the Martyr the local blogosphere has been longing for.  You see, bloggers wear threats of lawsuits around their neck like medals of honor.  We know we’re doing something right when we start hearing from lawyers.  Thank you for making a hero among the basement dwelling shut-ins that are my only peers. 

 

I will see you on the battlefield… er court. 

 

Love,

 

 

David Karlsruher

AKA David K

 

cc:  All of El Paso

 

 

Ps.

Here’s a little housekeeping issue I have with your letter. The street I live on is spelled “Belvidere,” not “Belvedere” like the popular brand of vodka you may have been drinking when you decided it was a good idea to rattle the cage of the city’s most notorious smartass blogger.  Good luck getting the certified letter to my house with an incorrect address.  I guess it makes sense that you can’t get your allegations of my defamatory statements correct if you can’t even get my address right.  I would hate for your landmark defamation suit against me to be dismissed due to a technicality like you getting my address wrong.