Refuse the Juice

Let's Ignore the Obvious Problems Here

I'm all for the Tiguas getting their casino back.  Heck, I'm all for anyone of any ethnic background on any land here in Texas having their own Casino.  A truly free society means letting people piss away their earnings on rigged games.  Why not let everybody participate?

The El Paso Times opinion piece today expresses their wishes for the casino to be reopened legally after the state legislature passes a law allowing them to do so.  You can read it HERE.

I do have some issue with their wording and where they place blame in the piece. I'm not too keen on the idea that their initial shutdown was because of "John Cornyn."   He was the state attorney general at the time and the Tiguas were flat out breaking the law.  It was his job to go after law breakers. 

They were told exactly what they could not do and they did it any way.  John Cornyn wasn't their problem, their inability to follow the rules, work within the system and play the game was their problem.  When they finally decided to play the game, they got in a hurry again and hired Jack Abramoff and friends - wasting millions of their own dollars to get nowhere.  I can't stress enough that the Tiguas were the creators of their own problems and can blame no one else but themselves.

The article does take a moment to at least give the ills of gambling a nod.  I appreciated that.  There's more to this than just the Tiguas making lots of money.  There are people out there who will make decisions severely detrimental to their financial, social and psychological well being.  There are avenues to deal with that.  Those few that make those mistakes and go way too far are no reason to keep everyone else from having fun.

However, I don't want to read another story in the El Paso Times crying about the amount of people in El Paso who do not have health insurance.  Ground zero for the uninsured inEl Paso is the area closest to the casino right now.  The majority of the uninsured (both automotive and health!!!!) live right in that area.  It's a fact.  The Times and everyone else is going to have to shut their mouths when it comes to those people spending their extra money on the slots instead of health insurance.

I don't want to hear it anymore.  The uninsured are uninsured because they choose to be.  If you're in Speaking Rock on Saturday night blowing your paycheck and whining on Monday when you can't get the medical you need for cheap, I don't feel sorry for you.  The same way you don't feel sorry for me when I make poor decision with my money and can't afford to do something or get something that's very important to me.

If the Times and the local elected delegation want this so bad, they are going to have to deal with the fact that some of the people they bitch about not having health insurance are going to be in that casino moving further and further away from every insuring themselves.  I don't want to hear the bitching. 

Open the casino. Let the tribe make their money.  Don't cry about what El Pasoans can't afford.

Finding Christmas Miracles and Catastrophes - Job #1 for the News

I'm not going to link to the stories about the Westside home that burned a couple of days after Christmas, but the coverage has been hilarious.

Usually news agencies find a fire on Christmas eve or Christmas day to get all sappy about.  Usually it's in a poorer neighborhood or in an apartment complex, which makes for even more dramatic coverage.

This year a million dollar mansion burned - it was hard for me to cry.  I was especially untouched when I found out that the son of the owner is up for a grammy this year.  They are really hurting!

I know any fire is bad. I would be very angry/upset if my house caught fire.  However, I wouldn't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I have insurance.  It doesn't cover memories, but it sure does help with the getting of brand new shit. (don't get any great ideas folks - we installed a nice little security system with cameras over the holidays.  We plan on catching the people throwing eggs at our house and stealing my government issued trashcans.)

I'm just a little amused at how some of the news stations are trying to tie this dramatic bow on the fire when the family is filthy stinking rich and will be just fine.  It's not like the battered women's shelter burned to the ground right before they opened all the donated presents.

As for the Christmas miracle - it would have taken someone saving the family dog from the fire.  Double points if the dog just happened to be wearing reindeer ears at the time and was a golden retriever.  Better yet, the dog wearing the reindeer ears saves an infant!  Better yet, the infant was born premature and beat the odds by surviving the effects of being born too early and yet again escapes death via the family pet!

We have all become sheep.  The local and national news outlets just can't wait for catastrophes during the Christmas holidays.  They will turn anything into a sob story.  They act as if dying a few days before Christmas is any worse than dying on a Thursday in May. Dying sucks anytime of the year whether you have unopened socks and underwear under the tree or not.  There is no time of the year where a parent would say, "Little Billy lost his battle with cancer in September of this year.  Good thing he didn't die in December, that would have been very sad."

Can you tell I've had about my fill of the Holidays?  One more story on this stupid Sun Bowl game that nobody gives a shit about and I might just explode.  I might set my house on fire during the damn game just to see the headline, "Local couple house catches fire causing them to miss Sun Bowl halftime show." 

El Paso Times Tastes Their Shoes - Yummy!

A good memory serves you well in the news business.  It's almost a necessity when prosecuting story ideas and editorials.  When names, places and events take place it's important to be able to connect them to past stories. 

For example, when I was a lowly intern at KVIA Channel 7 we had done a story on the "Texas seven" who escaped from prison and were on the lam for a while.  The ringleader was from El Paso.  We had been doing background on the guy and had the address of his parents here in town.  Then one day we hear a call come over the scanner for SWAT.  Without even having a chance to think about it, three of us knew exactly who lived at the address they sent the SWAT team to.  Had we not kept in our memory the details around that story, we would have wasted valuable time trying to figure out if we had a story on our hands. 

side note:  Our camera crews caught a federal SWAT team working with EPPD SWAT... and a very hot FBI agent lady.  I'm talking Hollywood, only on TV hot.  If I was a co-conspirator I'd want to be cuffed and stuffed by her.  Hell I'd even resist a little just to see... well you know.

Back to reality.

Every year in every state they "audit" the receivables in fines, dues, fees etc.. that have gone uncollected for that year.  Between Christmas and New Years they release those numbers.  This has gone on in every state for the past 25 years at least.  It's a big deal.  Every news outlet in the country acts as if the millions, billions or trillions of uncollected monies are the biggest atrocites ever brought on man kind.  In reality, it's not.

The El Paso Times filled some editorial page space with an opinion piece on the subject today. You can find it HERE.  The number here in Texas this year is $1 billion or $1,000,000,000 if you like the effect that has on readers.  The Times is obviously upset this money wasn't collected and handed over to El Paso to distribute to each and every corrupt politician and businessman emboldened by the FBI's inability to bring charges against anyone in the public corruption case.

First of all, you can't "lose" something you didn't have.  I can't lose a Ferrari, because I don't have one.  I could lose a couple of extra pounds because God knows I have plenty of those.  The state can not claim they "lost" the benefit of these fees because they shouldn't be budgeting for them in the first place.  They should be treated as a windfall, not expected income.  It would be like you sitting down in January and working possible bonuses, possible inheritances and the occasional discovery of a five dollar bill on the street into your budget - you'd be an idiot for doing that. 

Unfortunately our state is run by idiots who budget for "sin money."  That's my term for monies collected by the state for you doing something wrong.  There is a mathematical chance that no one makes a mistake for an entire year and the state is screwed.  However, that's not usually the case.  The IRS makes billions of dollars for the U.S. government by making it quite easy for you to screw up and thus have to pay fines over an above what you first owed the government.  Making the process easier to understand and execute would lead to people not messing up and having to pay more than they initially owed.  This would keep Congress from building more bridges to nowhere. They don't want that.

Bottom line - The system is designed to make you screw up and pay more.  We shouldn't be alarmed by this.  It is "our government," after all.

The reason the amount of uncollected monies is so high is quite simple.  Many of those assessed fines or fees are under appeal or otherwise being fought.  They may eventually pay what they owe or have the penalties waved.  The number quoted includes anything assessed during the time period and makes no mind as to whether or not the fee or fine has been contested.  Believe me, they're still out there trying to get that money from the entities that owe it.  Thank God for this little thing we have to protect us called the Constitution.  It allows us to stiff-arm the government when they get a little overzealous.

Here's the funny part.  Here's where the Times' sticks their foot in their mouth because they have no memory.  In the piece they borrow a quote from a guy named, Michael Sullivan of Texans for Fiscal Responsibility.  Does he or his group ring a bell?

Mr. Sullivan was ripped to pieces by the times for opposing the children's hospital bond issue.  He was "hired" by Tenet to mount a counter campaign against the initiative.  The Times, along with anyone else supporting the hospital, ripped Sullivan and the Texans for Fiscal Responsibility group for their position on the hospital and foray into El Paso politics.  Some even venturing to claim his actions were
"illegal."

I find it funny that now the Times feels it's okay to quote Mr. Sullivan and his evil advocacy group because he's saying something they agree with.  You'd think one person over there would have said, "uh.. yeah - we think that guy and his group are a sack of assholes, can we not use that quote? It may hurt our credibility."  Nope - they figured you're too stupid to notice, or too stupid to care.  They assume you are blinded by the idea that you might get some free shit if someone did a better job of collecting speeding ticket money.

What are they thinking?

By the way, "Texans for Fiscal Responsibility" isn't really a large group of people sitting around trying to find ways to defeat new taxes.  It's one guy (Micheal Sullivan) who gets paid by special interest groups to mount campaigns against certain legislative and political issues under the name "Texans for Fiscal Responsibility."  Most of the campaigns are through direct mail.  His group allows folks like Tenet to get their message out there without having an obvious direct connection to that message.

thanks for sitting through all that.  more later.

I'll Be Back Soon and Here's What We'll Talk About

1. Sito Negron has an article in this month's Texas Monthly - that's huge!  Congrats to him.  We'll talk about the cartel problem and why I think Sito's solution to the problem isn't the right one.

2. El Paso as a whole is content with itself.  This isn't good news for the "progressives" in this city. Just because they are louder, doesn't mean they are right.  That's too bad.

3. Downtown -  put your money where your mouth is.  Some folks need to stop pretending like they invented and own the idea of downtown revitalization - they're taking attention away from serious people with real plans.

Another Holiday Rant

Here's yet another rant I wrote some years back

It's feeding time for losers.  Your dream girl is out there and it's literally 10 days until Christmas, 17 days until New Year's Eve and less than two months from Valentine's Day – she's yours to lose.    You are looking at "open season" on hot single women who, for whatever reason, are single right before their biggest three holidays – they have no one to "celebrate" with.   In contrast, men only have one holiday and it's the Superbowl and you don't need a girl to help celebrate that one – in fact, fat hairy men with beer are best to celebrate with on this day.
 
Right now that disgusting short asshole in accounting is having sex with a woman who wouldn't notice him if he fell burning into her living room from a spaceship shaped like a giant maxi pad.   Do you know why this is happening?  I do.  Because that woman would rather have the poster person for adult acne writhing all over her body than miss three opportunities to get free shit from a guy that isn't a baby or an STD.   These three holidays are geared directly to women and they've been trained all their lives to get the maximum out of them.   Besides, any woman caught alone on these particular days will be considered a spinster and will lose so much credibility among her friends that they will be forced to hook her up with men in the service sector for eternity.  She will become that bitter, over-tanned, obnoxiously drunk woman on that four day Caribbean cruise who wears a one piece green bathing suit covered by jean shorts and the cloud of smoke from a menthol cigarette she has continually lit even while sleeping.   There are good reasons why women will go slumming this time of year and you need to take advantage.
 
Your job is to not pretend you don't know this.  You need to be forward about her predicament, and your solution.   I will give you a sample conversation below that you should follow for success. 
 
Sample Conversation:
 
Hello Bunny, you might remember me as the guy who tries to get a peak into the ladies restroom every time the door opens… or the guy who once dropped his pen under the table 11 times during a meeting because you were wearing a skirt. Never mind, it doesn't matter.   Here's a picture of what a woman without a man during the "Big Three" looked like last year (produce picture of woman described above), you could be next.
 
My proposal is simple.  I save you from a lifetime of bitterness as long as you agree to go out with me starting tonight.   I'm going to buy you drinks and dinner just as if we were really interested in each other.  You are going to pretend to be somewhat entertained.   After all, you could be at home developing a Cape Cod and menthol problem while an "It's a Wonderful Life" marathon plays on every cable channel for the next two weeks.  
 
We will have sex, tonight.  I will be quiet about it until about lunch tomorrow when I'll blurt it out at the most inappropriate time to the most inappropriate person – possibly outside your office to your boss' boss.  I will probably tell them about everything you were wearing and any markings on your body that normal work attire does not show – I may even make up a few.   
 
(If she even flinches, flash the picture again)
 
You will get a gift from me that will cost upwards of $200 and it will be something from a list you provide.   You will give me a gift at work.  I don't care how much it costs you or what it is, it just has to be given to me at work.  The more you ham it up before Christmas, the better you gift.   Each time you pretend to know my name at work or in front of coworkers at parties it's another $100 toward your gift.  If you must travel out of town to see your parents, that's fine.   I live with mine so I'll be around town and can watch your apartment – in fact I'm going to need access to it.  Some things may be missing, but I'm sure you can afford to replace a few pairs of underwear.  
 
(flash picture again just for good measure)
 
Upon your return I will pick you up from the airport if my dad and mom don't need to use my car.  We can go to whichever New Years party you wish to attend.  Abstain from sex before then and we'll be going to a party at the VFW near my house.  I will buy you a dress, pay for our entry and the hotel afterward.  You might want to get really hammered, because New Years is dress up night for us and I'm sure you won't want to remember me in a thong.
 
(now hold the picture out for the rest of the time that you are speaking – follow her head with it if she tries to look away)
 
For the next month we will date and I will continue to say "I love you" each time we see each other at work.  I will also continue to write "I love you" on your dry erase board each day before you get in.  At no time will you refer to me as a "winter fling" or any other derogatory label in order to save face.   I will have flowers delivered on Valentine's Day and we will dine at an exquisite restaurant downtown.  I will give you a gift of jewelry not to exceed $300.   I will make love to your lifeless body one more time while you read the paper and the next day I will dump you.  I will dump you in the office during a meeting with clients conferenced in on the phone.   You must act somewhat upset. 
 
Afterwards you will find a guy to date and never admit that you used me for approximately $2,000 in gifts and hospitality.   In fact when your new beaux meets me at the office happy hour it will serve to bolster his confidence as a better man than your ex. 
 
If you choose to accept my offer to you rescue from a lifetime of singles cruises and stag status to your friend's holiday parties, I'll be at the bar of the hotel across the street.   The same hotel where a bed covered in rose petals awaits us.
 
 
She should be weak in the knees after that little speech and you are as good as a hero in the eyes of your Dungeons and Dragons club buddies.

A Christmas Rant

I wrote this back in 2005...

Holiday recap.

 

Christmas is under attack!  Not by liberals, not by atheists and not by the Jews!   It's the Christians ruining Christmas!  More precisely they are screwing up the reenactment of Jesus' birth!  That's right, nativity scenes all throughout the greater Houston and DC area made a mockery of the sacred event and I shall relate to you some of them.

 

I'm not an avid reader of the Bible or anything with more than about four pages and comics in the back to be honest, but I know one thing for a fact; two scarf wearing giant penguins taller than Joseph holding wreaths weren't present at the birth of Christ.

 

Next time it would be proper to go buy a couple more wise guys and an ass if you lose them in the attic rather than replace them with giant-sized seafaring birds.   I think this type of nativity scene gives youngsters the idea that being a flightless-iceberg shitting mammal/bird qualifies you to be a witness to Christ's bris (he was a Jew, look it up).

 

I also found it inappropriate that some people mixed in elements of Ghostbusters (the movie) into their nativity scene.    Your ten foot blowup snowman has no business overseeing the birth of Christ!  There's nothing worse than picturing that perfect scene with the wise guys, Joseph and Mary about to be attacked by a 60 foot marshmallow snowman as Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd run around with backpack sized tazers trying to fry him.

 

My own future in-laws were guilty of displaying their nativity scene minus almost everyone but Jesus.  Upon my arrival to their home in Houston I noticed their yard was awash with Christmas spirit, which angered me because I hate Christmas and it was 85 degrees.   As I scanned what was once their front yard, but now something to rival the strip in Vegas, I noticed their nativity scene was a little more than lacking.   Three blobs sat there glowing as you made your way up the paved walk almost to the front door.  There was Mary, Joseph and Jesus, but nothing else.   Jesus wasn't even in a manger, a blanket or Mary's arms, he was just laying there in the grass.  Joseph was turned looking off to the east and Mary was kind of leaned over looking off to the west.   By looking at this nativity scene I could only deduce that Jesus was born in a crack house.  Apparently they had "lost" all the other parts of the nativity scene and figured that tossing the immediate family out on the lawn and plugging them in would be good enough and if they had time they'd go by Wal-Mart and pick up some penguins to stand in for the rest of the party.   (I'm only half kidding, I love my in-laws and they were very good to me over the holidays.)

 

Other nativity atrocities

1. The seven dwarfs, Daffy Duck or any other Disney characters for that matter, were not present on Dec 25, 0000.   Put them on the other side of the yard – it's not cute to think sneezy and dopey were attendants to the birth of the most important Jew in history other than Jerry Seinfeld.
2. Make sure that all the nativity participants are from the same original set.   When someone steals your baby Jesus, please replace the whole set. It looks funny when you have a 3' long baby Jesus surrounded by 2' tall adults.  It makes you wonder how Mary survived and why she looks so peaceful after having a c-section to birth a child 1.5 times her size.
3. Santa came along after Jesus was born.  Santa exists because of Jesus, not the other way around so he shouldn't be affixed above the scene as if he was delivering presents on the night of Jesus' birth.
4. 50 foot blinking reindeer weren't around then – put them on the other side of the yard with the 7 dwarfs.

 

 

 

I'd like to spend a short time talking about those of you who took the hint to not send me a Christmas card with your retarded kid/dog on it this year.   Those of you who were moved by my position paper on the subject last year decided that you'd forgo the card and picture route and send a digital text message or email out instead – thanks for the effort!  Nothing says "I really wish you a merry f'n Christmas" like typing in five words and selecting your whole email/phone list and hitting send.  I feel special knowing that you sent me a "special holiday message" at the same time as all the random people in your phone/email list who you don't know or forgot where you met.  I got a heartfelt message from you identical to the one you sent some fat girl who put her number in your phone when you were drunk at Garrett's two years ago and you have yet to delete her number because you can't quite remember if it's an important person or a pasta bar's worst nightmare.

 

Next time why don't you write what you really mean - 

 

"Hi, I'm hammered and figured that I'd spread some Christmas cheer and prove to the world that my phone has a cool function allowing me to message many many people at one time.   I don't care if you are off dying in some ditch because you were so offended by someone's nativity scene that you steered your mother in-law's car straight towards a telephone pole, I'm hip and technologically superior to you and hope that next year I can send a digital video of my dog running around the house in a Santa outfit."

 

 

Oh yeah – How come we don't put nativity scenes depicting our own births in our front yards on our birthday?  A couple of nurses and doctor with your mom and drunken dad there… that would be neat.

 

 

This is an actual conversation between my fiancée and me over instant message.

 

Jessica: yeah, that's good

you ought to mention how Santa and mrs. claus showed up at mass

i thought that was weird

Brad: i didn't know that?

Jessica: yeah, when we went to mass at the farm

they showed up at the very end, knelt down over the nativity and the choir sang "happy birthday jesus"

Brad: you are f*cking kidding right?

Jessica: which is good...putting focus back on god and not Santa but still

no, swear to god

no pun intended

Christmas is not About Getting a Bunch of Shit

Two kinds of people read my blog and I think they can agree on Christmas.  The first kind of person who reads this blog is like me.  They hate Christmas because it eats into productivity and is a huge waste of personal and public money, time and other resources. 

The other kind of person who reads this blog is a pinko commie, Hugo Chavez loving, hippie who hates anything that has to do with religion. These are the types of people who protest Nativity scenes on private property.

The El Paso Times, however, loves Christmas and thinks everyone should get a bunch of shit they don't need or deserve for the holidays. After all, the holiday is not about the birth of Christ, right? It's about getting as much shit as you can.

The El Paso Times today equated a "merry Christmas," to kids getting a shitload of toys from strangers.  Apparently there's nothing to be said for family, the worship of your faith  or anything else about Christmas that the Times thinks is worthy.  They're pretty much rooted in the getting a bunch of shit part of Christmas and from strangers none the less. 

How would the times suggest we give needy kids material things that have no educational or other longterm value other than to foster the false sense of the season?  They would have us pay for traffic tickets by giving toys to charity rather than giving our cash to the City.  You can read the greedy, materialistic crap HERE.

Remember folks, it's my generation that was given way too much shit for Christmas and for our birthdays.  We developed no sense of the actual celebration and instead equated each holiday with getting more shit from anyone who'd give it to us.  Our materialistic attitudes led to us becoming the most reckless generation yet with our money.

We ran up credit cards, bought houses and cars we couldn't afford all in the name of greed.  Part of why this country is in financial crisis is because my generation never learned the value of anything. A worthless dollar has always been a worthless dollar to us.  We've never wanted for anything because we've been given everything - even when nobody had the money for it and we didn't deserve it.

For the paper to mention Operation Noel, a program that gives winter coats to kids, in the same breath as toy drive is moronic and dangerous.  Too many people here locally will continue to share their view that the holidays are about getting shit from strangers, rather than giving to your family and friends. 

The idea that a piece of molded plastic is more valuable to a child than a hug and some loving eyes watching over them is disgusting.   The El Paso Times should be calling for people who get tickets to sign up for big brothers and big sisters, not some material handout to those who don't have money.

I don't remember hardly one toy I got for Christmas as a small kid.  I do remember that my mom, dad, me and the family pets all gathered in the same room for a few hours without the TV on for once.  We opened presents, yes, but we did more than that. We talked, laughed and used each other and that time as gifts.  You can get a million toys, but you only get a few people who love you unconditionally in a lifetime. 

There are exactly zero presents under my wife and I's little Christmas tree this year.  That's the way it will stay until after the first of the year when we put all the decorations away.  We don't have money for gifts for each other this year.  All is not lost, though.  We do have gifts that do not come in wrapping paper or sit under trees.  We've got time to be alone together with no TV, no internet, no cell phones - just her and I and a few hours of quiet.  I can't think of a better present than a morning with my wife. 

Something tells me the people over at the times would find that whole scenario terrible beyond belief.  "What a crappy Christmas!" they would say.  Nobody got to open presents!

Shame on the El Paso Times and shame on you if you think a toy is what a needy kid really needs for Christmas.

That'll Piss Ya Off!

I was making my way down I-10 today when I noticed they were erecting the fence along Paisano near ASARCO.  They're using precast concrete bases to slide the fencing into.  It's quite a simple operation.

Then I noticed that at the southern end of ASARCO's land there were hundreds of those bases lined up waiting to carted down and put in place.  The border fence contractor is using ASARCO as a staging ground!

Given that all the anti-ASARCO people are also anti-border fence people, it's two birds with one stone! 

Maybe you don't find this as funny as I do.  I think it's neat. 

The Good Guy Always Wins

You may remember Chris Antcliff from the recent election season.  He was the only qualified candidate for the court he was running for. His former opponent, Regina Arditti, is a bought and paid for Judge now because of straight ticket voting. 

She's dumber than iliterate dirt and spend nearly $200,000 on her campaign.  We assume she's getting paid back by the people she will judge in her court.  You know, the typical song and dance where certain attorneys agree to pay down her campaign debt in exchange for consideration when they have clients in front of the court. It's really the most effective way to buy your guilty clients their innocence.

Antcliff, who is an honest, smart gu,y was appointed to the 168th Judicial District Court of El Paso County.  Good for him. I know he'll do a good job.  He will do us proud.

Everything I know is a Lie

I was cruising along the web today and saw a news flash that Gene Roddenberry's wife had died.  I clicked the link and was taken to a website run by the Roddenberry family.  You can find the site HERE.

I was eager to to read the different links on the site and bask in all the glory of El Paso as they explained Gene Roddenberry's life and links in El Paso.  Guess what - he live here for like five minutes in 1921 and moved to Los Angeles.

In his bio, El Paso is mentioned once in 2,000 words.  

We are living a lie. 

Gene Roddenberry isn't "from" here, he lived here for such a short time he wouldn't even remember it. 

Our claim that he's from El Paso is bullshit. He lived here against his will (which is how most kids grow up - living in places against their will.  I personally wanted to live with my grandma because every time we went to her house there was candy).  Anyhow... 

What a farce. 

We need to stop claiming him.