I Was Wrong - Story Was "El Pasoed" to Death

I had warned everyone to be alive and alert for the public comments portion of today's city council meeting. Thank you to the folks who heeded my warning.  I'm sorry you were disappointed.  What I thought was going to happen was "El Pasoed" and went to the place where all important things go to die - the video archives of city council meetings.

You might be wondering what "El Pasoed" means.  I'm glad you asked.  When something is "El Pasoed" it has been exposed to something that only El Paso can expose it to.  In this case, as you will see, the "El Pasoed" action has to do with the complete inability to articulate one's point in a clear, and concise manner.  We in El Paso have cornered the market on terrible communicators.  Mumbles Medina comes to mind immediately.

Anywho... Here's the story.

It wasn't until after lunch on Sunday that the phone calls and emails started rolling in with hints, tips and questions about the two run-offs for city council seats. I heard that District 1 candidate Theresa Ann Ware-Asbury wasn't too happy with Lyda Ness-Garcia-Ourladyguadalupe-Hernandez-the third.  During last Tuesday's special city council meeting Ness-Garcia-Ourladyguadalupe-Hernandez-the third entered a note written by Asbury into the record in support of her (Ness) agenda item (open records request).  The truth was that Asbury note was no such thing and Asbury in no way supported then, or supports now what Ness-Garcia-Ourladyguadalupe-Hernandez-the third was doing in reference to the open records request and subsequent complaints filed with the Texas Ethics Commission. 

In simple terms - Asbury's position was purposely misrepresented by Ness to the council.  The cherry on top is that a lawyer knowingly presented a false pretense for an item she had placed into the record.  That lawyer is Ness.

Was Asbury able to communicate this to the city council with all the media watching?  Hell no.

Asbury "El Pasoed" the whole thing with what I can only describe as the most incoherent, unintelligible mix of sound and thought I've witnessed since seeing Jorge Artalejo speak at a candidate forum one month ago.  This woman was billed to me as the smartest person in any race for any office in the history of El Paso.  There was no shortage in the amount of praise for her brilliance by other bloggers and their democrat party overlords. 

If she is in fact the modern Einstein they say she is, her ability to communicate that genius is extremely inadequate. We are all truly missing whatever brilliance she has stored in her head.  At one point during her speech I was ready to alert the police officer on duty that she may be having a stroke.  One of the symptoms of a stroke is incoherence (read about stroke symptoms HERE) and she was very incoherent.

I thought for sure this was an opportunity to put Ness-Garcia-Ourladyguadalupe-Hernandez-the third on the hot seat with the media.  She's already gotten away with Texas ethics judgements, not paying $190,000 in taxes and owing tens of thousands of dollars in civil judgments against her. I just knew the media would finally say "enough is enough - you can't knowingly misrepresent the position of a citizen in an effort to further your own political position! And on top of it make it official by entering a letter into the record under false pretenses!"

Instead... there were crickets.  Lots and lot sof silence backed by tiny little chirps from tiny little crickets.

El Pasoed. It was El Pasoed.  El Pasoed beyond recognition or recovery.

In Asbury's defense, all the other speakers in the open comments section El Pasoed everything they were talking about too.  Hell, even before they spoke a city council member El Pasoed a prepared statement.  I'm sure as the meeting went on that every other agenda item was El Pasoed by at least one person.  It's what we do in El Paso.  It's why nobody wants to move their company here.  We can't communicate and they can't wait around trying to get a straight answer from us.  And that's not to mention the other ways in which we have El Pasoed our guests in the past.

Let me write down for you exactly what Asbury should have said. I feel I need to prove to you that issues like these can be packaged in a precise, succinct manner.

Here's what she should have said:

My name is Theresa Ware-Asbury.  I was here last week for the special city council meeting.  I could not stay the entire time.  I passed a note to Lyda Ness-Garcia indicating that I support due process for anyone accused of any wrongdoing.  Ms. Ness-Garcia entered my note into the record and told city council that I was in support of her desire to acquire the results of her open records request for free. It may have also been construed from her comments on the intent of my note that I felt Representative Lilly was guilty of an ethics violation.  Let me be clear, my note and intentions were completely and irresponsibly misrepresented by Ms. Ness-Garcia. She knowingly misrepresented my intentions to further her own political future. I ask that the record by corrected and that Ms. Ness-Garcia apologize to this elected body for her actions. God bless you and God bless the USA.

How hard is that? 

She sure made a fool of me.  The Teflon Attorney survives another close call.  At this point Ness is going to have to set a puppy on fire inside the children's cancer wing at the hospital if she's going to get a single word of bad press.  Then again, she'll be able to blame someone else for the puppy, the cancer and the fire and the media will buy it and print it.   Don't we all wish the IRS was as forgiving as the El Paso press when it comes to not paying your taxes for years on end. 

"Oh, you say it's your accountant's fault?  Well, hell - just forget you even owe anything!  These things happen and we all know how accountants are!  It's okay you didn't fire him after the first two times he screwed up your taxes, who would have thunk he would do it three years in a row? Ooopsies! Let's not worry that your own time line of events completely contradicts your own statements about those events - you're not lying!  You're confused!  We think the world of you - you're the best! We hope you get elected. In fact, we'll write a letter on your behalf to all voters."

Wouldn't that be nice? 

The El Paso press pretty much El Pasoed the whole Ness story in their own special way.  The big story before the election?  Cortney Niland's completely legal contributions.  Meanwhile we have one candidate taking contributions from corporations and one who can't pay her taxes or her judgements and could be the first elected official in the history of El Paso to have their wages garnished by multiple governmental entities. 

My God. 

Shoot Me. 

Settle down Mejia clan, that's not an invitation.  It's a figure of speech.

Sorry for the meltdown. 

I think I've had just about as much as El Paso as I can take for a while.

Comments

[Marcel the shell]

david k, as a former client of Lyda garcia, or whatever she wants to be called,that *itch is a no good woman; who cares about her home life,those poor kids of her,i feel so sorry for them. Lyda is a worthless attorney with a worthless staff to boot. whoever laura is,she hit it right on the money. this man-woman lyda is a worthless attorney and a greedy good for nothing.anyone who cannot run their home life is no good for political office. how people voted for Mejia is beyond me. talk about 2 losers. thats them.

[Diana]

Asbury took forever to get to the point but I did finally understand what she was saying. I was not shocked. Ness is the same as Caballero.

[Moi]

Bravo!
Succinctly and yet eloquently stated. Give unto Cesar that which is Cesar's. :)