Hector H. Lopez Concedes Mayoral Race

I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when they're running for office for the first time.  I figure sometimes what I think is a little odd, may in fact be the key to something bigger and better.  In Hector H. Lopez's case - he's just an idiot. 

The El Paso Times reporter, Evan Mohl captures Hector H. Lopez's party perfectly HERE.

And before we get into Hector H. Lopez's concession party, let's talk about Steve Ortega and the idea that I'm "supporting" him.  I haven't talked to Steve Ortega in two years.  We'd converse ever so often before that and had promised for years to get together for a beer.   We never had that beer before I left.  I like Ortega as a person and dislike a lot of his politics.  He's smart, good at advocating for his side of the story or issue, but he's not my dream candidate.  When I write that he's already won the mayoral race, it's not because I'm on his team and want him to win.  It's because the money, momentum and the lack of a serious challenger - that's why.

So Hector H. Lopez had his kickoff party even though he's been begging for money since even before he filed the proper paperwork to do so.  Stupid move number one.  You won't be a good mayor that abides by the Texas Municipal Code if you can't even follow the five or six rules that govern a run for local office.  For Christ's sake even Alex Lozano gets it right.  If Alex Lozano has the edge on you... well,  you're in bad shape.

Right out of the gate in the article you get the feel for Hector H. Lopez's vapid emptiness as a political thinker.  The quotes are quite uninteresting platitudes used often by comedians to poke fun at the stupid thing do-nothing legislators say.  Although my new favorite reporter on earth, Evan Mohl, warns us that we're in for some real nothingisms when he writes,

 "Lopez, 33, spoke mostly in generalities and did not address specific issues." 

That has to hurt... wow - Evan Mohl you are a God.

The Hector H. Lopezisms...

"We need progress with fairness."

"We must have public dialogue where everyone has a voice."

He's a caricature of himself - it's hilarious.  What the hell do those two quotes really mean?  NOTHING.  They're bullshit from some Ivy league asshole who got a B.S in Bullshit.   Progress with fairness???? WTF?  As opposed to regression with unfairness?  The stupid is so thick here that it's sucking all the air out of the room.  Or did Norma's head need a refill?

He wants to improve education the piece says.  Really?  How?  He's running for mayor, not the school board.  Does he not know what powers the mayor has? 

You know how all the beauty pagent contestants say "world peace" when asked what they want for the world... well, "education" is the political equivalent of "world peace." 

Hector H. Lopez goes onto claim that he's going to create Fortune 500 companies as mayor of El Paso.  How exactly does the mayor do that?  Is he going to have the city buy combat jets from Alamo Auto Supply?  When is the last time a Fortune 500 CEO said "well, we weren't doing all that well and then we got a new mayor and now we're one of the top 500 companies in the country,"?  NEVER - that's how many times that's been uttered. 

Three paragraphs into this article and I know two things about Hector H. Lopez - he's full of shit and he might not be aware of it. 

He then  says that he'll figure out his platform and let everyone know the specifics "next week."  Who runs for mayor first and then decides what issues to run on second?  Hector H. Lopez does, I guess. 

Hector H. Lopez calls himself an "underdog" and admits his campaign doesn't have "deep pockets."  That's his subconscious brain doing the talking.  He knows he's going to lose because he went to all the monied people in town to ask for cash and they said "no."  Admitting that you don't have "deep pockets" is another way of saying "nobody believes in me enough to give me money." 

Then the house implodes on poor Hector H. Lopez.  Evan Mohl writes:

"Lopez said he could rely on the great leadership of political leaders of the past.  Former Democratic State Rep. Norma Chavez, current El Paso Independent School District president Isela Castañon-Williams, Mariana Chew and Fernando Chacon attended the event."

Let's go in reverse order here -

Fernando Chacon AKA "Fernie the Attorney" - the legal eagle of the anti-baseball crowd who was given ten too many chances to un-embarrass himself in court and couldn't do it.  He's likely the last attorney on the face of the earth I'd want advising me in any way.

Mariana Chew - not terrible, but not great.  Most voters would be like "who?"

Isela Castanon-Williams - Disgraced leader of the EPSID school board who was fired by the State of Texas for napping her way through her job as an elected official... and presided over the most embarrassing scandal in the history of Texas education... and still does not understand what went wrong.  That's exactly who you want an endorsement from - the lady who lead the EPISD screw up.  Was Dr. Garcia not around for an endorsement?  Send him some prisoner bucks and I'll bet he'll endorse you... My God. 

Side note - Isela's son was on the Charter Review committee and had a quite hilarious change in personality once he was told he was on TV.  During the meeting when he thought it was just the folks in the room witnessing the meeting, he was a normal helpful person.  The second someone told him he was on TV and it was being recorded he turned into Al Sharpton.   A fist pounding, point making visionary who wanted to make sure every word he said in the meeting would be engraved on his marble statue to be placed next to the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. Hilarious.  Watch this guy run for something next cycle.

Mariana Chew - not terrible, but not great.  Most voters would be like "who?"

Norma Chavez... Seriously?  Is Hector H. Lopez this stupid?  Really? He's got some highfalutin degree from a place most of us aren't even qualified to enter to use the restroom and he associates himself with the political version of "The Cooler" (great movie, by the way).  She's like stomach acid - everything she touches turns to shit.  Why would anyone - even people who genuinely like her - involve her in their campaign?  Have the lessons of Joe Moody and so many others not been learned?  My mom met Aaron Baraza the other night and was more than impressed with him - loved him and couldn't understand why he didn't win easily.  Norma Chavez is why.  She completely destroys candidates by "helping them."  She does not know what she's doing.  She makes people mad.  She is associated with a political era that El Paso voters are now sprinting from.  How many elections do her candidates have to lose in a landslide before people realize that she is not the fatter, uglier version of Karl Rove?  (Karl Rove isn't fat - it's weird how his face and head make him look that way, though)

Once I saw Norma's name mentioned, I knew this was a concession speech, not a campaign kickoff.  You can't make such bad decisions in such quantities and expect to have people support you.  Even the worst/dumbest politicians out there know how to surround themselves with the right people.  They may not know anything outside of their name and a few of the letters of the alphabet, but they do know not to make Jack Abramoff their campaign manager.  Hector H. Lopez shows zero ability to make good decisions here and I'm not sure why he lacks the smarts to see what everyone else sees in Norma. 

Goodbye Mr. Hector H. Lopez - it was a quick race to the bottom for you. This is a single elimination tournament and you racked up 10 losses before we could remove you from the field. WOW.   

In positive news - Evan Mohl had one more zinger..

"Lopez, who graduated from Georgetown University, drew several young people."

Several, huh?  Well played Mohl... well played sir. 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Rotten Peppers]

David:

El Paso does not seem to have much depth on the bench when it comes to future leadership, if Ortega is the concession candidate and this Lopez guy is what you say he is. The idea that we have to have an Hispanic mayor is symptomatic of the level of thinking here, too, when what we need is a mayor committed to transparent and honest government that seems to be in short supply here.

[M Morales]

LMAO.

[What a joke]

This was friggin' hilarious! Great post, DK.