As you may have noticed, I have had nothing to write about for almost two weeks. Other than some internal fights at city hall that I don't care to take public, nothing is going on.
Holguin's career is dead.
Limon is on her way out.
Robinson has no idea what time or year it is.
The mayor isn't passing feces laden jars around anymore.
The anti-ballpark crowd is so discredited and demoralized that they haven't even found a new issue to cry about.
My work is done... I really don't have anything to satirize anymore.
That's why it's important we elect (reelect?) Norma Chavez to the State House of Representatives.
Don't get mad, just listen.
First of all, a democrat from El Paso in the Texas legislature is like having no one representing you at all. Send someone, or don't - the result will be the same. The only person who could have shaped policy for El Paso in any significant way was Dee Margo. He was an insider. He was in the club. He was on the right team. Unfortunately, his district changed and now he's back to being a businessman.
(Nothing against Moody - he's great, but being a Republican with friends in high places has its opportunities Moody just can't get to.)
Whether you elect Blanco or Chavez you get the same thing - NOTHING. You're basically wasting tax dollars on a person who is going to go party on your dime for 140 days in Austin every other year (you may remember the downfall of the incumbent who partied a little too hard). Norma will be a little more expensive because she misuses her per diem in order to travel back and forth to Austin because she's too good to go to UTEP. Maybe she'll pursue a masters if she is reelected... just maybe.
Norma is mean, divisive and self-interested. However, that shouldn't stop you from voting for her. Those attributes make writing this blog so much easier. She's a one woman wrecking crew and I need her.
Sure, she's going to have a negative impact for El Paso if she goes to Austin, but it's not like anything good would happen if you elect Blanco. They won't put her on any committees worth mentioning and even if they did, she never shows up to work anyhow. She's usually sleeping one off while pretending to be in class.
(As one professor put it to me a few years ago "Ms. Chavez was a sitting member of the Texas State Legislature. You don't fail a person who votes to fund your employer no matter how little effort they put out. Football players should be jealous.")
She's going to go up there and make a fool of herself and El Paso and that's no big deal. Both Chavez and El Paso have been fools for decades in the eyes of Texas. It's par for the course.
If anything, Norma's reelection offers up the opportunity for a writer to follow her around chronicling her shenanigans and offering it up as a funny/sad biography. A young writer could really make a name for himself and a few bucks writing this book. I bet Cinco Puntos Press would rep that author for this project in a heartbeat.
Folks, it can't get any worse for you in Austin. Why not throw me a bone and give ol' Norma another whirl?